“IDIOT!!!”

A deafening cry echoes across the classroom just as…

A BIG BLUE BOARD RUBBER

Goes hurtling over your head.

Fuck — what have you gotten yourself in for!?!?

You signed up for this “class” to learn how to build a profitable creator business.

And now you’re getting “debris” hurled at you from 20ft across the room?!?

But you barely even register the sound the wooden eraser makes as it SMACKS the wall at the back of the room.

After all…

The echoes of Harry’s question are still RINGING in your ears…

“What is the ONLY asset which you absolutely, unequivocally and undeniably must develop if you want to NEVER worry about money again in 2024?”

Your mind is BUZZING.

You’re desperately trying to figure out what the fuck Harry is talking about.

But before you can even begin to process a satisfactory answer…

“A funnel! I need a funnel!”

George cries, his hand waving aggressively in the air (as if it matters — Harry has made it ABUNDANTLY clear that you can VOICE your opinion WHENEVER you want to in his class).

“I need a funnel so I can get newsletter subscribers! Then I can sling ‘em the good stuff with a quick 30 minute email each day!” George continues to whail.

A 2-second silence falls over the class.

Then…

“NEXT!”

Your instructor BELLOWS (the tone of his voice making it utterly apparent that George is living in cuckoo land).

You spot a few tentative looks across the class.

“Funnel” was the first thing which sprang to their mind too (after all… they’ve been BINGING Dan Koe videos recently).

But Susan isn’t phased.

She KNOWS she’s got the sauce…

“It’s my offer, sir! That’s the reason I’m not making sales!”

This time there is no silence.

Not a zeptosecond goes by (Google this if you don’t know what this is) before…

Wrong!

Wrong!

Wrong!

WRONG!

Fuck — that one really E-CH-OED around the room.

And now the class looks STRESSED.

They were convinced Susan had hit the nail on the head.

No-one wants to utter a single PEEP for fear of further dismissal.

But hold on…

There is ONE brave soldier ready to offer up his neck for the “chop”.

In fact, is that… can that be right? Yes! It’s…

YOU

You push your chair back.

You stand up, adamantly.

And, full of anger and rage at the utter incompetence of the rest of the class, you stand up and bellow…

“You’re all IDIOTS!!!!”

“Don’t you understand you need TRAFFIC for any of that stuff to matter. Content — that’s what you need. Shovelfuls and shovelfuls of relentless content!”

Your instructor, Harry, swivels round in his chair (up until this point he’s had his back to the class — but he can’t take it anymore).

He’s had enough.

“GEORGE!”

“Yes, sir?” George whimpers.

“You think a “funnel” is going to cure your sales problems, do you? That as soon as you have this “sales on autopilot” system you read about in Justin Welsh’s post… you’re just going to RAKE in money while you sip Pina Coladas on the beach in sunny Hawaii???”

“Erm…yes, sir?”

Harry looks down at the floor, then up again.

“Oh you do, do you?”

Because let me tell you what’s going to happen when you come to build that mystical “funnel” of yours.

You’re going to set up your Beehiiv, Convertkit (or whatever other ESP you decide to use).

Easy enough, right?

But hold on. There’s a…

BIG fucking problem

Because…

Now you realise you need a landing page to get people INTO your funnel.

But…

What should your headline be? The lead? The text on that glowing YELLOW button to entice people ever-so-lovingly into your web? How are you going to CONCOCT the page so people don’t immediately roll their eyes and see you as “just another newsletter”?

(That last line throws you for a slight LOOP — you thought Harry was about to reveal copywriting as the secret sauce. But that had nothing to do with writing. Your confusion mounts).

Harry continues…

And then what’s going to happen to these victims (sorry, “subscribers”) once they’ve clicked that big BRIGHT sign-up button?

Are they just going to sit there, unattended and unloved?

Or are you going to send them emails?

Because if you are going to send them emails then… what are you going to say in those emails? Nay, before that — how are you going to get people to OPEN those emails in the first place? Do you know the THREE factors which influence how many people open your emails? (hint: only one of them involves your subject line)

George GULPS.

Maybe it isn’t as simple as just “setting up a funnel” after all…

Harry pivots.

SUSAN! You’re next!!!!

Susan squirms in here chair as she gets ready to embrace the impending verbal onslaught.

You think your “offer” is the issue do you?

“I guess…” Susan mutters.

“Well then tell me… do you understand what an offer really is? The intense, mental exercise that requires you to dive into the very organs of the business you’re presenting yourself to and show them how ONLY YOU can RESURRECT them from the CATASTROPHIC heart failure their livelihood is currently crippled by?”

*Onslaught resumes*

“Or… have you simply seen one of those ‘I’ll add $5,000 to your business in the next 90 days’ offers plastered all over Twitter and copied it for yourself (without a single SECOND of thought as to why some of those offers convert and some sit there, gathering digital dust for the remainder of time)?”

(Harry stops there — there will be plenty more time for “offer” analysis another day).

Slowly, he turns — squared on with you.

And now you feel a big LUMP lodge itself deep in your throat.

You’ve locked eye contact.

Here it comes…

Now… you — The “Traffic” King.

You think content is the missing piece, do you?

Well let’s have a little look here shall we…

It says you’ve posted over 10,000 tweets.

“Well, then… congratulations! With ALL those tweets you must be absolutely RAKING in the dollars. In fact, you should probably be up here teaching ME how to sell stuff. Tell me, good sir, exactly how much money have you made in the last month from all those tweets?”

A deafening silence falls over the class as every single member of the class turns into Hedwig from Harry Potter, heads 180, on tenterhooks as they await your response.

But…

There’s no answer.

You simply bury your head in your arms on the desk in front of you.

Your instructor takes a big *sigh*.

He realises he’s gone too far.

Slowly, he walks over to you.

You feel a gentle tap on your right shoulder.

You look up, still feeling a bit windswept by the whole affair.

You’re expecting to see RAGE still locked in Harry’s eyes.

But to your surprise, you see nothing but…

Compassion.

Harry kneels down next to you.

Listen — I know I’ve been rough on you. I know you’re probably feeling confused and a bit “beaten”.

But do you know why I have been such a complete and utter TOSSER today?

It’s because…

I was once in your shoes too.

I too fell prey to the utter SEWAGE PIPE of content on Twitter.

It kept me trapped, confused and LOST for MONTHS.

I sense this is how you feel, too?

You’ve been told it’s all about your content. You’ve been told it’s all about your offers, your funnel, your network… your brand.

But…

Can I let you in on a little “secret”?

Something that you won’t hear from ANYONE else?

I can? Good.

Because…

There is ONE skill which you must develop before you even begin to think about anything else.

One “master” skill which, once you learn it…

You will NEVER have to worry about money again.

Why? Because this skill does not only feed into your content. This skill does not only feed into your offers. This skill does not only impact your emails, DMs, sales pages and funnels.

No.

This skill dictates the very nature of EVERY SINGLE THING you put out onto the good ol’ interwebs for the world to see.

In fact…

“This skill is so GODDAMN important, that I am going to ETCH it right here — on this blackboard at the front of the class.”

Harry turns round.

He paces to the front of the room.

He grabs the dusty white chalk from the ledge just below the blackboard.

And, filled with utter conviction, he begins SCREECHING, in big CAPITAL letters, the word…

COPY—

Ahhhh!!!!

You knew it!!!

“Copywriting!” you cry.

“That’s the master skill” you cheer!

But hand on a minute…

COPYC—

“Harry!”

“Harry!”

“I think you’re about to spell copywriting WRONG!!!” (you know he LOVES those typos).

But Harry doesn’t pick up the board rubber.

In fact, he doesn’t waver at all.

Instead? He doubles down and goes to continue writing.

But JUST as he goes to reveal the “MASTER” skill to building your personal brand…

NEEEYAWWWW NEEEEYAWWWW

It takes you a split-second to register what’s going on — the reason your ears are now being BOMBARDED by a completely different type of oral onslaught.

But just as you put two-and-two together…

You hear another sound coming from just outside the classroom window…

“FIRE!!! FIRE!!!”

The class rushes to the window and to their utter DISMAY they see…

People are burning a book.

But not just ONE book.

HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS OF COPIES OF THE SAME BOOK!!!!

But what’s more…

You recognise the people putting paper to the flames — they’re your favourite creators!!!!

They’re the ones you’ve been studying for MONTHS trying to figure out how they’re selling their digital products and services with such ease (while you’re still fumbling round in the dark)!

And now… you’ve just GOT to find out what the book is!

You scramble over to the window.

You can’t make it out for sure (all that staring at your Twitter feed has obviously destroyed what was once a perfectly functioning set of retinas, I’d say…)

All you can make out is a very distinctive and familiar…

PURPLE TINT

But wait…

The chalk board!!!

Harry’s run off to add his own copy of the purple book to the fire without telling you what the “master” skill is!!!

And it’s NOT copywriting?!?! What the HELL could it be, then? Isn’t that the “master” skill everyone always preaches online? (Hell, Harry talks about it non-fucking stop!)

But there’s NO time to think about that.

Right now… you need to find out exactly what that big purple book is (and why there’s a horde of angry creators burning it on the grass just outside the classroom…)

PS. I built a $15k/month creator business in under 6 months.

Want to do the same?

Join 2,500+ creator-copywriters here: harrybeadle.com